A Dork Tells It Like It Is...

2009-02-15T21:53:00.000-06:00

Movin' on up...

2009-01-29T14:51:00.002-06:00

So I have made the transition over to Wordpress, and it seems to be going without a hitch (minus some copy and pasting issues) so go ahead and migrate on over to continue reading my wonderfully witty and urbane musings...

A rolling stone gathers no moss, but can get a decent fan club...

2009-01-27T09:42:00.002-06:00

So, while I have resigned myself to letting Google have control over most aspects of my life (damn you Google Tasks!), I don't really like the limitations of blogger. So I am in the process of moving this site over to wordpress.

Please pardon our dust as we renovate to better serve you.

Can I file for tax exemption?

2009-01-26T12:24:00.004-06:00

I recently completed a weekend drill with the National Guard. This was my last drill weekend before I go to Basic Training and I was saying good bye to several of the people I had gotten to know over the course of the last 8 months. One of the things that has occurred during these weekends with the Army is that establishment of the Cult of Dorkus. Apparently the amount of push-ups that I can do in one minute has achieved Herculean proportions.

How this began isn't too clear. For some background, back in high school during a period of time where I seem to break an arm every year due to the egg shell thinness of my bones, I was forbidden from lifting weights and in fact really doing any sort of upper body exercise that could in theory cause my arms to shatter and lose all functionality. However there was one exercise that my orthopedic surgeon said I could do: Push-ups.

Yes Push-ups were the only thing I could actually do to work out my skinny ass. So that is what I did, slowly at night doing a set of twenty push-ups, waiting ten minutes, doing another set, and so on until I did one hundred. This continued every night, day by day, week by week, month by month until I was doing set of sixty and doing three hundred push-ups a night. Mind you I still stayed skinny, but developed a fairly healthy barrel chest. And when I was in college, when I decided to start losing the freshman 40 (yes 40), push-ups were where I started.

So needless to say, I do push-ups, I do lots of push-ups, I don't have an issue doing push-ups.

Anyways, every month we have to have a PT test. It's no big deal, push-up, sit-ups, and a mile run. I treat it like my exercise for the day. At my first drill weekend, I wasn't trying to stand out, I was mostly trying to keep to myself so I didn't say anything about my push-up ability. However after my test, the guys were all sharing their stats for the test. Guys would say things like 'Oh I did 34', 'I did 40', they look at me and I say 'Yeah, I uh, I did 55.'

"Damn Maximus (because we call each other by last names), how'd you do so many?" is the typical response I'd get.

And so it began. Every weekend, while waiting for the test to begin, the guys would start asking me, 'So how many push-ups do you think you're gonna do? 60, 65?' I would just try to answer modestly, short changing how many I could do. I'd say, 'I'm tired today so I may just try to break 60.' Or something along those lines.

Well, I dug myself a hole back in December when, for whatever reason, I knocked out 84 in a minute. For perspective, maxing out a PT test in basic is 82 push-ups in 2 minutes. People were somewhat dumbfounded. So this weekend, all I heard was how I was a push-up machine, that I could do a hundred with one hand. That I had challenged the Master Sergeant to a push-up contest and kept going till he cried in pain. Honestly, it was kind of embarrassing.

So during the test, one of the new privates was wearing an A&M sweatshirt, which pleased my Aggie Master Sergeant to the point that he began to mock UT (Hook'em!) and say that only Aggies new how to really do PT. Well, I couldn't let that stand, I started mouthing off, trash-talking about how much the Aggies suck and the fact that Longhorns can do everything better. So then it's my turn and I get int position for the test, with the Master Sergeant standing right over me, counting my push-ups. By the way, I did 70, but the pressure to perform those push-ups may have been the biggest source of stress I've ever dealt with (and that includes living with the Ex).

So I was able to keep my status for the highest number of push-ups, keep my school pride, and the Cult of Dorkus will live on with the tales of the specialist who left the Master Sergeant speechless with the number of push-ups he could do.

Because everything boils down to it....

2009-01-20T11:07:00.004-06:00

Watching the coverage of the Inauguration, it occurs to me that this entire event is like having sex for the first time. There's lots of build up, a lot of fanfare, tons of hype, only to be followed by 30 seconds of actions. After which there is about 45 minutes of talk and explanation. Also, afterwards the guy tends to be feeling pretty good while everyone else is left to go "Well now what?"

(Er...not that that's been my experience.....)

Live blogging history (because no one else will)...

2009-01-20T10:01:00.003-06:00

Keith Olbermann was just explaining that the motorcade was about 3 minutes late, he attributed this to having the wheel VP Dick Cheney to the car. Nice to know that Keith will continue to blame things on Cheney.

Chris Matthews is blowing hot air.

The commentators filling air by pointing out the Cabinet members.

The parade of former VPs, including Mondale, Quayle, and Gore. (Makes me thing of a D&D game getting under way)

Chris Matthews still blowing hot air.

The senior Bushes are getting fashion advice from Prince.

The incoming Secretary of State is turning into a blueberry.

Chris Matthews just won't stop talking.

The live feed keeps getting buggy, so I'm stopping for now.

Things you'll do....

2009-01-16T14:56:00.000-06:00

Sun, 80,000 people, boredom.....

Random thoughts piling up in my brain....

2009-01-16T09:25:00.005-06:00

I've been a tad distracted the last few days, to the point of not being able to think of something to write about so I figured why not just throw my thoughts up into the ether that is the internets....

-The extent to which Toyota Corollas have made my life difficult is reaching a head.

-The first of the lay offs have started at work...thankfully there are a few people ahead of me before I get canned.

-I'm willing to suffer a week of relatively private indignity if it results in not having a[nother] major medical issue.

-Me in a goatee....evil. Me in a moustache....borderline creepy.

-I need a going away party soon.

-The Captain is a good man for trying to throw women at me.

-I miss the use of my right nostril.

-I am quickly running out of time around here.

-Are furries going mainstream now?

One a less than related note, in an effort to aid a longtime friend I'm adding another blog to the roll on the side. Check out MDH News, she's a hilarious girl and never would have passed middle school math if it weren't for me.

My cat is cooler than your cat...

2009-01-13T10:27:00.001-06:00

Goodnight Moon....

2009-01-12T12:51:00.003-06:00

I didn't get as much sleep as I wanted last night and that bums me out. It started off well enough, I got everything ready for the morning, I curled up in bed, cat lying strewn along my leg (I'm amazed at his balance) and read a book until I was tired. I should explain that I have developed the bad habit of tossing and turning throughout the night and tend to wake up a couple of times for no apparent reason. Also, the cat has seen fit to scream at the windows as of late. So with him sleeping peacefully right beside me I thought that I might just get some actual sleep last night.

No. Didn't happen. I was sleeping just fine, not tossing about, not waking up. The cat was calm and well behaved, until the smoke detector started acting stupid. Being woken awake at 2:30 am by a shrill, sharp beep in not something I would recommend. The cat jumped out of bed and ran to the living room while I searched the dark in vain to find the offending device. Finally I turned on the light (give me a break it was the middle of the night) and found the blasted thing, which I promptly ripped off the wall and forcefully yanked the battery out of it.

But alas, I'm afraid it was too late. I was too much awake to simply lay back down and sleep. Sadly, the cat was awake as well. I should tell you that the cat acts as a snooze alarm for myself. He takes it upon himself to make sure I am awake once my alarm goes off. I think this has to do with our old tradition of me getting up and reading the paper while he curled up in my lap. Now, whenever my alarm goes off, if I don't immediately get up he will scream in my ear to make sure I am awake. I'm willing to guess that a smoke detector alarm is close enough to an alarm clock in the ears of a bengal cat.

So I spent the next few hours, tossing and turning and trying to get my cat to stop screaming. I eventually just tossed the cat in the bathroom like I always do and eventually made it back to sleep, just in time for the alarm clock to go off.

Maybe tonight will be better.

Moon over Austin....

2009-01-10T12:56:00.002-06:00

Between the two trees is a waxing gibbous moon as seen while kayaking Town Lake.

How to look evil....

2009-01-09T11:41:00.002-06:00

First grow a goatee. This is especially imperative if you are going to be an evil twin.

Also, you should take note your the color of your clothes. Robin's egg blue does not make you look evil, rather it makes you look just silly. However a dark grey shirt will do the trick. A general rule of thumb is to go with dark colors. It is also helpful if the shirt is tight and form fitting, something on the order of what a typical douche bag would wear to a club on a Friday night.

My favorite punctuation....

2009-01-08T08:22:00.002-06:00

I think I may have found the absolute best punctuation mark, the interrobang‽

Back in the good old days...

2009-01-06T14:15:00.003-06:00

I really can not the describe the shock and horror that overcame me when I first saw this ad. I've seen my fair share of offensive ads, such as the Fritos Bandito and The Ladders, but this one has them all beat.

I like that the admen who created this put all the blame on the failure of this woman's marriage solely on her shoulders for not practicing "complete feminine hygiene". What woman in her right mind would want to take the opportunity to squirt a scientifically correct, non-caustic preparation of Lysol up her hoo-hah to get rid of odors, so that her man can have a complete sexual experience. Of course one can only imagine that when said wife went to perform her wifely duties her husband would be wondering whether she had just been cleaning the bathroom.

I don't know why he has a bowtie

2009-01-05T16:59:00.000-06:00

One of the best warning labels I've ever seen.

I've heard of having your ducks in a row, but this is ridiculous...

2009-01-03T16:50:00.002-06:00

I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one who decided to take advantage of the 85° weather here in town.

Overheard on New Years

2009-01-01T01:38:00.000-06:00

There's bottles of champange I've haven't broken yet.

We love 'Dorkus'

Did you say give them rufies?

Flip Cup!

Did you do a keg stand twice in a row?

Maybe it's all in my head....

2008-12-29T15:04:00.002-06:00

So, is there anything in the world more awkward than to unexpectedly run into someone you may have drunkenly made out with and then never spoke to again? This happened to me twice this weekend. Thankfully there was no badness that resulted but it's one of those times where I find myself at a loss for what to say.

The first one occurred at lunch on Friday with my mother and my sister and her overly-sensitive redneck boyfriend. As I am eating my chimichunga, I happen to look up in time to see that the girl walking past me just happens to be the girl that dragged me into the bathroom of a local drinking establishment for a very intense personal experience. Of course, this experience caused a great deal of vitriol to be sent my way by her's and my mutual friend who happens to like her as well, but never did anything about it. Anyways, as she walked past me at lunch she made a very clear effort to avoid acknowledging my presence. I felt kind of thwarted though since my dining companions were family, I couldn't just say "Hey I made out with the chick in a bar bathroom." like I could if I was with my friends.

The second instance occurred on Saturday night when I met my friend Gary Papua at a bar downtown. He was with a few others and one of them introduced herself to me as *****. Of course I had met her almost 5 years ago at the last big New Year's Eve party I attended. I may have made out with her, it's a tad fuzzy, but the kicker of the story was that after that occurred ***** became a lesbian. It's a bit weird but I find it oddly satisfying to know that I am the last guy she will ever make out with. Luckily things were not at all awkward between her and me, although no one said anything about that New Year's Eve.

At some point in my life I should seriously reconsider my open policy on making out.

Because labels are so important

2008-12-28T02:24:00.000-06:00

We'll just call this "The Weekend Of Running Into Girls I've Made Out With". More to come.....

More Scenes from Christmas....

2008-12-26T12:56:00.002-06:00

-My Mother asking if 2009 is a leap year, and the subsequent discussion of what occurs on a leap year (presidential elections, summer olympics).

-My Sister fast becoming a Christmas Nazi (We WILL open presents at 8:30).

-The choir at Mass managing to make all Christmas carols sound like dirges.

-Mother requesting a drink as soon as Mass is over.

-My GMAT writing score making me wonder if engineering is really the right field for me (it was a 5.5 out of 6, way above average)

-I watched A Christmas Story at least three times, and laughed every time at the soap in the mouth scene.

Also, I've learned that I can not impugn the manhood of my sister's redneck boyfriend by suggesting he is drinking a girly drink (to be fair it was a Tootsie Roll). Of course I was drinking mimosas most of the day....

Scenes from Christmas thus far...

2008-12-24T21:50:00.000-06:00

The sun is shining, the grass is green....

2008-12-24T12:28:00.002-06:00

Ok, so maybe the grass isn't necessarily green, but I still kind of would like some sort of winter weather, it's Christmas for freakin' sakes.

I'm in a mood. I think my Christmas spirit has run dry. So I think I may just have to replace it with more earthly spirits. After all it is 12:30 in Christmas Eve, I have put in my half day at work, I wrote my monthly report, and I have nothing else to do with my day (outside of Mass and family dinner).

An explanations of sorts....

2008-12-22T16:01:00.000-06:00

It was put to me this weekend, the question of why I decided to enlist in the Guard and I feel as though I should try to explain my rationale, even if the person who asked me it may never be satisfied with my answers. (To which she is most likely to say that it is my decision but I am still wrong and she is right and she won the argument.)

I'm not going to lie, the money they were offering was a big argument for enlisting. I want to go to grad school, and I'd rather not pay for it. I know there are other ways of getting money, but this was the route I chose.

Secondly, I needed a change in my life. The place I was in my life wasn't too pretty and I was starting to question everything I was doing. I was tired of playing things safe in my life and felt the only way to break the cycle was to do something completely out of character and possibly stupid.

I think one of the biggest reasons I decided to enlist was due to my innate desire to serve my country in some fashion. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those types who refuses to acknowledge the bad parts of my country. I am quite vocal about what I consider to be wrong with the country. But for whatever reason I have always thought that everyone should give something to help make this country a better place. I got really annoyed during the election when I kept hearing "Country First" coming from people who have never volunteered or offered to do anything to serve their country.

I'm not trying to make myself into some Kierkegaardian hero, claiming my sacrifices make me better than anyone else, but I've tried to live my life helping and serving others. I feel that enlisting in the Guard is a natural extension of this idea. It was also hard to read about all of the difficulties faced by the soldiers who deploy, especially since many of my friends have deployed and served overseas. I felt as though I needed to do my part to help them. It's hard to explain why, I think it has to do with sharing the experience, not necessarily of deploying, but at least being in the military and understanding what that life entails.

So there you go, an imperfect, but reasoned argument for why I sold my soul to the military. I'm not saying that the Army is the greatest institution out there. I've seen too much of how it operates already to have very high expectations of Army life. I may try to write about the shortcomings of the military later once I've spent more time there, and besides that's not the purpose of this post. The only thing I know is that this was my decision and decision alone and whatever may happen I chose this and that makes me feel happy.

Well it had to happen sometime....

2008-12-22T14:56:00.004-06:00

It has finally happened. The internet has completely creeped me out more than I have ever been creeped out.

This is apparently part of Burger King's ad campaign for its new Flame scent. Somehow I don't think this is an avenue they should pursue.

And another box is added to the pile....

2008-12-22T14:29:00.001-06:00

I think I may have survived the Christmas period relatively unscathed. I only added one box to my collection. Of course that might have something to do with the fact that I almost forgot to buy anyone presents this year....

Although a Norman Mailer Christmas would be a lot more interesting....

2008-12-21T20:57:00.002-06:00

Fine, I'll admit it. My family tends to have those nice Norman Rockwell Christmases. Of course we still use a fake Christmas tree, no matter how bad for the environment it is.

Driving Thoughts....

2008-12-21T13:01:00.001-06:00

Putting an A-10 unit patch stickler on the back of a minivan doesn't change the fact that it is still a minivan.

Furry and proud....

2008-12-18T14:57:00.002-06:00

The Daily Beast has a great piece on the return of chest hair. As a fairly hirsute guy myself, I am quite pleased with this development. I can not tell you how many times people have made comments on my chest hair. I refuse to shave it, if just for the fact that it would take forever. I will say that my favorite part about having chest hair is when a girl runs her fingers through it. Mmmmm....yeah.....

Addendum to Dispatches from Dallas

2008-12-18T11:01:00.001-06:00

Yeah, it looks rediculous.-Sent by the Sooner

This was sent to me by the Sooner, it is one of the prizes that we got when I was playing in Dallas this past weekend. The Sooner and I teamed up to get as many tickets as possible. I have a matching one as well.

Lost in translation....

2008-12-15T09:53:00.003-06:00

Now, I've never been one to pick a fight with an angry mob, but it might help your message if you could get the idiosyncrasies of the English language down before you start making signs. I hear Google Translate is quite good at this. Of course, proper English use is still a fantasy in this country as well.....

So now what?

2008-12-15T09:28:00.002-06:00

Back in July I enlisted in the Army National Guard. I could discuss my reasons for this at a different time, most likely as I contemplate everything that has happened over the course of this year closer towards New Years. Anyways, I told the guys working down at MEPS that I would like to go to Basic Training in March because I was finishing a project at work at it wouldn't be over until February. Mind you, I am sick and tired of this project, but I've been working on it since I started at my job, and I felt as though I should see it through, especially since I was writing the monthly reports.

Well, I was just informed by my boss that the project is over, a good two months early. Apparently, he has already written the final report and we are low on money. OK, that's fine. Of course, it would've been nice if someone had bothered to tell me anything. Keep me in the loop possibly. I was the only one doing any actual work on the project. I'm not asking that all decisions must run through me, but keep me apprised of what is happening. Is that too much to ask?

I guess this is more of an extension of my overall job experience. I was under the impression when I was hired, that after spending a little time learning the lab procedures and getting a bit of experience, that I would be able to take on more responsibility and begin to have my own projects. What has so far occurred is very much far from that. I have co-authored one proposal. The next few times when the proposal topics have been published, even though I expressly stated my want to write a topic, even though the VP of the group included me on the email about the meeting to discuss writing strategies (which my boss attended and saw me there) when my group met to discuss topics, I was not included. I have not written any other proposals, I'm not even included in discussions about topics.

Rather, my job seems to be limited to dealing with projects that everyone else is tired of, spraying things, and shipping haz-mat materials. Is this really what an aerospace engineering degree is supposed to get me? I need to leave this job because I am getting nothing out of it. I'm not learning any new skills, I actually think I am losing my skills as an engineer because I have been reduced to being a lab monkey. I feel as though if I apply for a job with an actual engineering company I would have to take an entry level position because I would be unfamiliar with any real engineering practices they use.

If my current lack of responsibility at work is somehow related to my enlisting, it would be nice if they told me. If someone had said, "well you are leaving in a few months so it wouldn't be right to have you write a proposal when you won't be here to carry out the project", That I would understand. But instead I am in this informational black hole. As far as my boss knows, I am leaving for four months of training in February, but I am coming back in July. But then what, will they give me any new projects to work on, or will I merely be stuck with some vague idea of the fact that I should have some work to perform.

I could go and talk to my boss, explain why I appear to be unmotivated (I should probably not mention that a trained monkey could do my job), but what's the point? Honestly, I am trying my damnedest to get the hell out of this city, out of this state, and into grad school, or maybe just a job that will pay me a fair market wage (I am in the bottom 20% of what entry -level aerospace engineers make). I haven't told him this, I fear it would leave me with even less to do during the day at work. Man I'm tired of all this.

Dispatches from Dallas...

2008-12-13T10:04:00.000-06:00

Well I'm here in Dallas celebrating the birthday of the Drinking Buddy. It was fun, her sister came into town as well and was in a playful mood. Too bad she currently has a boyfriend, who apparently got drunk and then drunk dialed her. I think that makes me look good.

I'm not the biggest fan of driving on I-35, there are just too many trucks on the road, driving slowly and blocking lanes. Dallas isn't too terrible of a town, it may be big but I do find it much easier to navigate as opposed to Houston, which for all I care can fall into the ocean.

Curently I am chilling on the couch, drinking some gatorade waiting on the two sisters to get up. This could take a while. By the by, the sister was forbidden to sleep with me. I'm not saying she would, as she has a boyfriend, but the pre-emptive cock block seems a tad severe.

I will say that it is nice to get a decent night's sleep without the cat waking me up 4 am.

When Boredom Strikes

2008-12-10T16:38:00.005-06:00

I was bored and got inspired by fellow Celebritologist ep, who I may have a slight crush on.

Falling Sky

2008-12-08T13:25:00.002-06:00

I am currently battling a head cold and am completely miserable. I have post-nasal drippage, a touch of laryngitis, I sneeze, I constantly have the feeling of needing to sneeze, my sinuses are congested. In short, I am dying.

Yes I am a complete wuss when it comes to being sick. I attribute this to the fact that I never really get sick. I was the kid who never got sick, which earned me plenty of perfect attendance awards in school. But now I can't handle even getting the sniffles.

To compound this cold, any and all good drugs (the ones with pseudoephredrine) must now be kept behind the counter in the pharmacy, and it is a hassle to purchase them. Believe me, I used to sell them. So I am trying to get through this using only my prescription allergy meds to fight off the symptoms and drinking lots and lots of water to try and flush my system out.

But none of this changes the fact that I am dying.

Random Thought

2008-12-02T07:49:00.000-06:00

Why is it that in public restrooms today, you will have an automatically flushing toilet/urinal, an automatic water faucet and soap dispenser, but the paper towels still have to be operated manually?

Scenes From Thanksgiving Thus Far...

2008-11-27T12:03:00.000-06:00

1. Type A personality aunt directing everyone on what and how to bake the pies.

2. Italian grandmother trying to make me eat every five minutes, and being constantly worried about there mot being enough food.

3. Father hiding in the kitchen to avoid having to deal with Mother's family.

4. Mother walking around on eggshells trying to deal with her mother and sister in law.

5. Me wanting to know when the alcohol will start to flow.

Next Time I Am Getting Season Tickets

2008-11-26T13:12:00.000-06:00

Possibly One Of The Funniest Moments On TV

2008-11-25T11:37:00.002-06:00

OK, so I watched this live last night and just about died laughing. Keith's reactions are priceless.

Then I though about how this may be the most apt metaphor for having Sarah Palin as the vice-presidential nominee. Essentially, she is able to talk in her non-sensical manner completely oblivious to anything around her, the least of which being some poor sacrificial bird being slaughtered. And it doesn't bother her because she is getting the attention and focus of the media, and well let's face it, no one really pays attention to what she says.

Many pundits, towards the end of the campaign were calling Palin an albatross, but I think this video clearly shows the proper bird metaphor.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2008-11-24T17:09:00.000-06:00

I have encountered this rooster before here along Town Lake. He doesn't go in the road really, he just walks along the edge, undisturbed by all the traffic. I think I'll name him Townsie.

The Cardboard Is Growing

2008-11-24T16:31:00.000-06:00

It didn't take long, there is already two more boxes added to my pile since last week. This does not bode well for the Christmas season.

Your Neighbor Could Be One...

2008-11-24T16:07:00.003-06:00

In today's Washington Post, there's an article on people who consider themselves to be vampires. Yes that's right, vampires, although to be fair, not all of them feed on blood, and those that do only take willing victims.

One of the little blood suckers talks about her "energy deficiency" and

occasionally needs to take a little energy from her boyfriend. Just a teaspoon of blood, once every week or 10 days, and always collected with disposable single-use lancet. Safety first, safety first. Feeding is "not as parasitic as people think," she says. "It's more of a reciprocal thing." While she has an energy deficiency, she says, her boyfriend has an energy surplus. "He'd been a little hyperactive, and now he can actually sleep through the night." It's almost medicinal, really.

Well, is that all? Could it be that maybe you are just a tad anemic? Could you not just take an iron supplement?

Of course my favorite would have to be the psychic vampires, who apparently just take sips of energy from my aura. I like the vampire who said she likes to go to Applebee's to feed off of people's energy because it's so positive there. Well sure, there may be a positive energy there, but i can assure you, that energy is not low in cholesterol.

I am all in favor of people doing their own thing, but really I'd like to meet one of these psychic vampires just so I could laugh at them. Really, you're taking my energy, yeah I believe that, uh huh sure...

Impending Sense of Dread

2008-11-24T12:53:00.002-06:00

My parents have spent the last year redecorating their house, painting walls, putting in new floors, new lights and everything. So, in a sense of self-congratualtions they decided to host Thanksgiving at their house for my mom's side of the family. These relatives tend to be more spread out than my dad's family, so getting everyone together in one spot at any given time tends to be difficult.

So, yay, I get to see some cousins I haven't seen in a while and I don't have to drive anywhere further than across town.

However, somewhere along the way, my father's family decided to come to town as well to celebrate Thanksgiving. For a little background, my dad's family is country folk, and my mom's family comes from the city. We are talking about two groups of people with almost nothing in common and may not have interacted with each other since my parents got married almost three decades ago.

Needless to say, I will be drinking.

Hopefully, I can get in a few quick mobile posts during Thanksgiving, to fully capture the level of absurdity that will be my Thanksgiving.

driving thoughts

2008-11-20T17:23:00.000-06:00

Men should not drive VW Beetles. Ever.

Messages from the phone

2008-11-20T11:47:00.001-06:00

Every now and then a thought pops into my head. I may not have the time needed to devote a lot of thought to it. But I will try to expand on it later.

Multimedia message

2008-11-20T07:49:00.000-06:00

I hate Corollas. Four-cylinder pieces of crap!

I Sometimes Wonder About People...

2008-11-19T09:00:00.004-06:00

This is the first email I received today at work about a package I had sent out last week:

Thanks to you and your group for getting a package to me.
I was wondering (I did not open the box) if the package contained both parts of the sealant system, i.e. it was sent as a two part system in one box....the MSDS only listed cumene hydroperoxide as the catalyst.

I should mention that the person who sent this email has a Ph.D. in a pretty technical field working at a fairly big company. I just sat there reading this thinking "Why didn't he just open the box?" Was he just sitting there staring at it on his desk?

I also sent him a package a few weeks ago of some samples he asked us to make. He sent an email to us to ask if we had shipped out the package a few days after FedEx said it had been delivered. Not five minutes later he sends another email saying, "It was on my desk, I hadn't checked there yet."

Really?

Multimedia message

2008-11-18T17:12:00.000-06:00

Sometimes the only thing to do to escape from the emotional pain of life is physically beat the hell out of yourself.

Scenes From The Office

2008-11-18T14:24:00.001-06:00

There is a good chance that in the next month or so the cardboard in my office will begin the mate and multiply, will do my part to keep this updated.

People Who May Come Up

2008-11-18T14:06:00.002-06:00

Since anonymity is a crucial aspect of blogs, I thought I would create a list of people who may be referenced at any given point in time.

Friends:

Chief-Longtime friend, punctually challenged.

The Captain-Another longtime friend, has a boat, is a lawyer.

Blondie-My drinking buddy, also an ex of Chief.

Sooner-Sister of Blondie, I am in love with her.

Cosmo-Ex-coworker, currently not speaking to me...

Boss-Former boss at previous job that I feel nostalgia for some days.

Mother-nuff said.

Father-nuff said.

Psycho Cat-My cat, likes to scream at odd hours of the predawn morning, great for picking up chicks.

Others:

The Ex-Catalyst of everything that has happened this year, will not speak her name, ever.

Celebritologists-A small community of us who like to escape the horrors of day to day life by picking on celebrities. I will do my part to identify them by name when necessary.

Other people will be given nicknames when it comes up.

What Have I Done?

2008-11-18T10:56:00.000-06:00

So, in a fit of madness I have created my own blog. While I know no one actually reads these things, this might be a fun thing to try. I will try to update this at least once a day during the week because I have lots and lots of free time at work. I won't make promises about the weekend.

This will cover all manner of topics, possibly. These may include but are not limited to: politics, my cat, my love life (or its nonexistence), how much I hate my job, or other general musings.

This could be fun, or at least a good way to kill some time at work.