Scenes From Thanksgiving Thus Far...

1. Type A personality aunt directing everyone on what and how to bake the pies.

2. Italian grandmother trying to make me eat every five minutes, and being constantly worried about there mot being enough food.

3. Father hiding in the kitchen to avoid having to deal with Mother's family.

4. Mother walking around on eggshells trying to deal with her mother and sister in law.

5. Me wanting to know when the alcohol will start to flow.

Next Time I Am Getting Season Tickets

Possibly One Of The Funniest Moments On TV

OK, so I watched this live last night and just about died laughing.  Keith's reactions are priceless.

Then I though about how this may be the most apt metaphor for having Sarah Palin as the vice-presidential nominee.  Essentially, she is able to talk in her non-sensical manner completely oblivious to anything around her, the least of which being some poor sacrificial bird being slaughtered.  And it doesn't bother her because she is getting the attention and focus of the media, and well let's face it, no one really pays attention to what she says.

Many pundits, towards the end of the campaign were calling Palin an albatross, but I think this video clearly shows the proper bird metaphor.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I have encountered this rooster before here along Town Lake. He doesn't go in the road really, he just walks along the edge, undisturbed by all the traffic. I think I'll name him Townsie.

The Cardboard Is Growing

It didn't take long, there is already two more boxes added to my pile since last week. This does not bode well for the Christmas season.

Your Neighbor Could Be One...

In today's Washington Post, there's an article on people who consider themselves to be vampires.  Yes that's right, vampires, although to be fair, not all of them feed on blood, and those that do only take willing victims.

One of the little blood suckers talks about her "energy deficiency" and

occasionally needs to take a little energy from her boyfriend. Just a teaspoon of blood, once every week or 10 days, and always collected with disposable single-use lancet. Safety first, safety first. Feeding is "not as parasitic as people think," she says. "It's more of a reciprocal thing." While she has an energy deficiency, she says, her boyfriend has an energy surplus. "He'd been a little hyperactive, and now he can actually sleep through the night." It's almost medicinal, really.

Well, is that all?  Could it be that maybe you are just a tad anemic?  Could you not just take an iron supplement?

Of course my favorite would have to be the psychic vampires, who apparently just take sips of energy from my aura.  I like the vampire who said she likes to go to Applebee's to feed off of people's energy because it's so positive there.  Well sure, there may be a positive energy there, but i can assure you, that energy is not low in cholesterol.

I am all in favor of people doing their own thing, but really I'd like to meet one of these psychic vampires just so I could laugh at them.  Really, you're taking my energy, yeah I believe that, uh huh sure...

Impending Sense of Dread

My parents have spent the last year redecorating their house, painting walls, putting in new floors, new lights and everything.  So, in a sense of self-congratualtions they decided to host Thanksgiving at their house for my mom's side of the family.  These relatives tend to be more spread out than my dad's family, so getting everyone together in one spot at any given time tends to be difficult.  

So, yay, I get to see some cousins I haven't seen in a while and I don't have to drive anywhere further than across town.  

However, somewhere along the way, my father's family decided to come to town as well to celebrate Thanksgiving.  For a little background, my dad's family is country folk, and my mom's family comes from the city.  We are talking about two groups of people with almost nothing in common and may not have interacted with each other since my parents got married almost three decades ago.

Needless to say, I will be drinking.

Hopefully, I can get in a few quick mobile posts during Thanksgiving, to fully capture the level of absurdity that will be my Thanksgiving.

driving thoughts

Men should not drive VW Beetles. Ever.

Messages from the phone

Every now and then a thought pops into my head. I may not have the time needed to devote a lot of thought to it. But I will try to expand on it later.

Multimedia message

I hate Corollas. Four-cylinder pieces of crap!

I Sometimes Wonder About People...

This is the first email I received today at work about a package I had sent out last week:

Thanks to you and your group for getting a package to me. 

I was wondering (I did not open the box) if the package contained both parts of the sealant system, i.e. it was sent as a two part system in one box....the MSDS only listed cumene hydroperoxide as the catalyst.

I should mention that the person who sent this email has a Ph.D. in a pretty technical field working at a fairly big company.  I just sat there reading this thinking "Why didn't he just open the box?"  Was he just sitting there staring at it on his desk?

I also sent him a package a few weeks ago of some samples he asked us to make.  He sent an email to us to ask if we had shipped out the package a few days after FedEx said it had been delivered.  Not five minutes later he sends another email saying, "It was on my desk, I hadn't checked there yet."

Really?

Multimedia message

Sometimes the only thing to do to escape from the emotional pain of life is physically beat the hell out of yourself.

Scenes From The Office

There is a good chance that in the next month or so the cardboard in my office will begin the mate and multiply, will do my part to keep this updated.

People Who May Come Up

Since anonymity is a crucial aspect of blogs, I thought I would create a list of people who may be referenced at any given point in time.

Friends:

Chief-Longtime friend, punctually challenged.

The Captain-Another longtime friend, has a boat, is a lawyer.

Blondie-My drinking buddy, also an ex of Chief.

Sooner-Sister of Blondie, I am in love with her.

Cosmo-Ex-coworker, currently not speaking to me...

Boss-Former boss at previous job that I feel nostalgia for some days.

Mother-nuff said.

Father-nuff said.

Psycho Cat-My cat, likes to scream at odd hours of the predawn morning, great for picking up chicks.

Others:

The Ex-Catalyst of everything that has happened this year, will not speak her name, ever.

Celebritologists-A small community of us who like to escape the horrors of day to day life by picking on celebrities.  I will do my part to identify them by name when necessary.

Other people will be given nicknames when it comes up.

What Have I Done?

So, in a fit of madness I have created my own blog.  While I know no one actually reads these things, this might be a fun thing to try.  I will try to update this at least once a day during the week because I have lots and lots of free time at work.  I won't make promises about the weekend.

This will cover all manner of topics, possibly.  These may include but are not limited to: politics, my cat, my love life (or its nonexistence), how much I hate my job, or other general musings.

This could be fun, or at least a good way to kill some time at work.