Movin' on up...

So I have made the transition over to Wordpress, and it seems to be going without a hitch (minus some copy and pasting issues) so go ahead and migrate on over to continue reading my wonderfully witty and urbane musings...

A rolling stone gathers no moss, but can get a decent fan club...

So, while I have resigned myself to letting Google have control over most aspects of my life (damn you Google Tasks!), I don't really like the limitations of blogger.  So I am in the process of moving this site over to wordpress.  

Please pardon our dust as we renovate to better serve you.

Can I file for tax exemption?

I recently completed a weekend drill with the National Guard.  This was my last drill weekend before I go to Basic Training and I was saying good bye to several of the people I had gotten to know over the course of the last 8 months.  One of the things that has occurred during these weekends with the Army is that establishment of the Cult of Dorkus.  Apparently the amount of push-ups that I can do in one minute has achieved Herculean proportions.

How this began isn't too clear.  For some background, back in high school during a period of time where I seem to break an arm every year due to the egg shell thinness of my bones, I was forbidden from lifting weights and in fact really doing any sort of upper body exercise that could in theory cause my arms to shatter and lose all functionality.  However there was one exercise that my orthopedic surgeon said I could do: Push-ups.

Yes Push-ups were the only thing I could actually do to work out my skinny ass.  So that is what I did, slowly at night doing a set of twenty push-ups, waiting ten minutes, doing another set, and so on until I did one hundred.  This continued every night, day by day, week by week, month by month until I was doing set of sixty and doing three hundred push-ups a night.  Mind you I still stayed skinny, but developed a fairly healthy barrel chest.  And when I was in college, when I decided to start losing the freshman 40 (yes 40), push-ups were where I started.

So needless to say, I do push-ups, I do lots of push-ups, I don't have an issue doing push-ups.

Anyways, every month we have to have a PT test.  It's no big deal, push-up, sit-ups, and a mile run.  I treat it like my exercise for the day.  At my first drill weekend, I wasn't trying to stand out, I was mostly trying to keep to myself so I didn't say anything about my push-up ability.  However after my test, the guys were all sharing their stats for the test.  Guys would say things like 'Oh I did 34', 'I did 40', they look at me and I say 'Yeah, I uh, I did 55.'

"Damn Maximus (because we call each other by last names), how'd you do so many?" is the typical response I'd get.

And so it began.  Every weekend, while waiting for the test to begin, the guys would start asking me, 'So how many push-ups do you think you're gonna do?  60, 65?'  I would just try to answer modestly, short changing how many I could do.  I'd say, 'I'm tired today so I may just try to break 60.'  Or something along those lines.

Well, I dug myself a hole back in December when, for whatever reason, I knocked out 84 in a minute.  For perspective, maxing out a PT test in basic is 82 push-ups in 2 minutes.  People were somewhat dumbfounded.  So this weekend, all I heard was how I was a push-up machine, that I could do a hundred with one hand.  That I had challenged the Master Sergeant to a push-up contest and kept going till he cried in pain.  Honestly, it was kind of embarrassing.

So during the test, one of the new privates was wearing an A&M sweatshirt, which pleased my Aggie Master Sergeant to the point that he began to mock UT (Hook'em!)  and say that only Aggies new how to really do PT.  Well, I couldn't let that stand, I started mouthing off, trash-talking about how much the Aggies suck and the fact that Longhorns can do everything better.  So then it's my turn and I get int position for the test, with the Master Sergeant standing right over me, counting my push-ups.  By the way, I did 70, but the pressure to perform those push-ups may have been the biggest source of stress I've ever dealt with (and that includes living with the Ex).

So I was able to keep my status for the highest number of push-ups, keep my school pride, and the Cult of Dorkus will live on with the tales of the specialist who left the Master Sergeant speechless with the number of push-ups he could do.  

Because everything boils down to it....

Watching the coverage of the Inauguration, it occurs to me that this entire event is like having sex for the first time.  There's lots of build up, a lot of fanfare, tons of hype, only to be followed by 30 seconds of actions.  After which there is about 45 minutes of talk and explanation.  Also, afterwards the guy tends to be feeling pretty good while everyone else is left to go "Well now what?"

(Er...not that that's been my experience.....)

Live blogging history (because no one else will)...

Keith Olbermann was just explaining that the motorcade was about 3 minutes late, he attributed this to having the wheel VP Dick Cheney to the car.  Nice to know that Keith will continue to blame things on Cheney.

Chris Matthews is blowing hot air.

The commentators filling air by pointing out the Cabinet members.

The parade of former VPs, including Mondale, Quayle, and Gore. (Makes me thing of a D&D game getting under way)

Chris Matthews still blowing hot air.

The senior Bushes are getting fashion advice from Prince.

The incoming Secretary of State is turning into a blueberry.

Chris Matthews just won't stop talking.

The live feed keeps getting buggy, so I'm stopping for now.

Things you'll do....

Sun, 80,000 people, boredom.....